28 January 2016

Lives of Passion - ?

I wonder how many people are passionate about what pays their bills, mainly because I've been wondering that myself. I am envious of those people who truly feel that their work/job defines them as a person. For example my boss would die a happy man if he could work in the lab late into his life. Most other people I know just see it as a means to an end.

My first boss in research was focused on making money, although he always pretended it was because he wanted to treat cancer but he was defined by his work. The next one was better and she was more dedicated to the "fun" of the research but in the end it really didn't define her. The one after her was confused about how he saw his career. I think he wanted fame and money but also was in "love" with the science, in the end it doesn't define him. The present boss is defined by his work, even on vacation he'll check in or dedicate some time to his work. None of these situations are bad or good, they're in-between.

Minion Hat for the nephew.
I think when we define ourselves by our work, what we are really saying is that it is something we are passionate about. Those above I think simply found what they are passionate about. A recurring theme for me is that - no passion. I always feel confused and frustrated when people ask me what my passion is. I do not feel I have a passion but I enjoy doing so much. Let's see, I like to knit, crochet, draw, paint, build things, renovate items/houses, honestly anything creative. Also when I'm helping people, whether teaching a technique or helping someone else with something.

What to do then to find something to be passionate about? First I want to look back over my past. If I had to pick a job that I truly enjoyed, it was when I was a student assistant at UTEP. I processed the applications for incoming international (foreign) students and helped validate their financial information. Believe it or not most universities have other students look at bank statements for foreign nationals, yeah I know sooooo responsible. It's not that I enjoyed looking at bank statements, more like I enjoyed the interaction with the incoming students and providing them with assistance. That is my favorite from my varied job history, which includes retail (Eddie Bauer & Best Buy), restaurants (McD's), teaching, research, and door-to-door sales of tamales/sundries. The sundries includes stuff I would sell during the summer from catalogs to get cool stuff. My parents weren't huge on allowances, you did chores because you lived there and that was a privilege.

Perhaps that is the answer, something that has paperwork to push but also gives me varied human interaction? What exactly falls under this that does not leave me responsible for 100+ kids? Well, teaching was my second favorite. Perhaps I should be a bureaucrat? No I have an issue with extreme inefficiency. More thought needs to go into this. Sigh.

Well off to rethink this passions thing.

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