05 January 2017

Behind the Curtain with 2016

I cannot believe that 2016 has come and gone but at the same time, I feel like it took its sweet time getting out of dodge. Seriously so many changes in the past year, I feel some for better (personal life) and some for worse (overall national/international climate).

Perhaps a recap is in order?

  • My butt was kicked into gear last year, not nicely but I needed that impetus. I finally cut the chains that bound me to research, namely my pride. Hubris, a nasty affair. I achieved a job that I am enjoying much more and that allows me to carry on extracurricular activities. It has been one of the best decisions of my life, it finally makes me feel like a grown-up.
  • What are those extra-curricular activities? Mainly more time with family, not even including friends on that list. Yes, my parents moved to town and now my weekends and evenings are filled with feeling like a teenager again whose parents are just so lame. Ugh, no one gets me! I kid, I kid, although I do feel like I need to limit their pull because they are now hinting that I sell my house and move in with them. As an unmarried and single daughter, I am still their oldest baby who needs to be taken care of at home. Mostly nice but sometimes a little cloying for this 37-year-old independent lady :)
  • Before the end of the year, I also faced a few financial demons. I know at my age you would think that I was a little more savvy but let's face it fear makes us do stupid things. I am fearful still but I can't ostrich my way through life. Yeah, I'm starting that - ostriching.
  • I did obtain therapy last year and I think I will continue with it this year. Although I do not anticipate 2017 will be as brutal as 2016, you never know and it won't hurt to deal with leftover issues from the previous 37 years; after all, it will be 38 years in March.
  • Small goals or le'ts call them living goals were also met last year. You know maintaining a garden, doing crafts, better habits (cleaning), and miscellaneous that I cannot recall were achieved. Living goals, I like that. Starting that too.
  • "Other" is the recap of a brutal year. Still single, still meh about the idea of needing a spouse. Greatly disappointed in the country after the elections, and no I will not call that person my president. If you are one of the ones that refused to call Obama your president don't you dare open your mouth now. If you don't like those last 2 sentences then bye boy, you don't have to read my blog or like me. OK, I'll admit it I'm still hurt by those events. Moving on. Loss of family members, loss of respect for some people (this is on a personal level), gained a greater appreciation for other people at the same time. 
I have gone through a lot of changes in the past year and I don't feel any of them were easy; quite the contrary a lot of them were difficult and painful. The bitter really accentuated the sweet, my family and friends were the sweetest part of my life. I reallocated resources to increase my happiness and productivity (i.e. new job) and so far the data proves that I made the right choices. At times last year, I felt there was so much bitterness in my life that it was overwhelming but I guess in the end it was not so bad. I mean did I die? No. I along with everyone else who is still breathing survived 2016.

I have definitely set goals for this year but I think I'm concentrating on preparation for the future. I'm not getting younger (sadly) and there are things that I want for the future that I need to lay groundwork for now. There is always time and I don't want to live just for the now but also for the future. I do not anticipate retiring early, nor comfortably but if I work really hard I may be able to achieve survival mode. No, I probably will retire comfortably but it's just one of those things about which I am very fearful. I've also decided to truly embrace my fears. I feel like I say each year I will overcome it, I will beat fear, I will abandon fear, me thinks perhaps that was the wrong approach. I am no longer going to fight my fears, I'm simply going to say, "Yes, I am very afraid of X. Now lets go X, I got shit to do."

So here's to getting things done. Hi 2017, I'm looking forward to getting to know you.