10 March 2015

Holding Hands

Recently I had a conversation with someone regarding lies. Everybody lies, at least a little. I'm not talking about huge whoppers such as "I am not married! I swear!", as they try to hide their wedding band tan lines or lying about your name because you don't want to give that annoying guy your real name, who knows he may be a stalker. I'm talking about little lies like, yeah I like sushi or yes I think that sweater is nice. Sometimes it's in order to be nice and not hurt someones feelings, other times it's because we want something in common with the other person. Usually this happens when you meet someone you would like to date and those lies usually involve saying you like sports or camping.

Age difference not this big :)
Back to the conversation. I have recently explored online dating and I met someone, rather quickly may I add. I was pleasantly surprised at first and then later disappointed. It was an interesting interaction and in the end a bust but lets talk about the inbetween. I noticed that he was younger than me, but I thought what the hell I haven't found someone my age so why not. The why not lasted 3 weeks, almost 4 weeks and I was surprised it lasted that long. The more I talked to this person, the more I realized that we were so not on the same page! Now what of the lies? Well, he omitted a very important detail I thought. Turns out he was much younger than he had posted on his profile and although  I wasn't particularly angry, I felt it merited an apology. Other than the fact that I have no desire to live through that phase of my younger years again with him, it was a lie. His defense? I didn't ask, oh, it wasn't a lie he just omitted the info. In my experience it's called a lie of omission. He was also pushing for shared living quarters and after 3 weeks that was not going to be on the table. Period. I decided and my answer was no, that no effectively ended things.

I also realized that I <3 me very much, I'm no longer looking to please men/potential partners. I'm checking to see if you please me, perhaps that's an age thing. The reality of it is that I hadn't realized how sure I am of myself until I dated a younger guy! I'm not saying I want someone who is perfect in every way, just someone who has balance in good and bad. Your laugh or the warmth of your hug will outweigh the fact that you love pickled onions or pickled garlic or that you are more conservative/liberal than I am. There is a balance that I want in a relationship that I knew was not going to be had with this younger guy.

Having said all of that, would I date a younger guy again? Yes. Not that young but yes. Age is a number, a lot of living can be packed into a few years and very little living can be packed into many years. The age differences aside (significant) what's your take on lies of omission? What constitutes a lie of omission? Perhaps to someone else the omission wasn't too bad but to me that omission made me question whether there were other "omissions" that would later come to light; seemed like a bad start to... anything. 


  1. Relationships are hard enough when everything is on the table.
    They are impossible when there is always a question of honesty.
    It is too easy to hide things online. It is sad when you really get invested in someone to then find out the truths. I'd think the omissions can be as bad as the all out lie.

    1. I agree, that's really what led to my calling it quits. Online dating is not easy at all, I really thought it would be simpler; don't know why but I did.

  2. Lies of omissions are still lies - they may start as insignificant, but could grow over time. Good for you on loving yourself - that's important and it's absolutely a part of growing wiser - not older :)

    1. I guess I'm finally a little wiser - FINALLY :)

      My sister makes fun of me because she says I never check the parachute before jumping :D