05 August 2014

Contradicting Views

Today while driving into work I was thinking of all the things I want to do in my front yard, in the back yard, inside the house, etc. Then it hit me, I don't plan on living in that house forever and I won't always have that decor/landscape. I will invest all of this time and effort into something that I will not enjoy for the rest of my life. Then I thought why don't I just stay there for my future family? That led to the thought but I want to live abroad or just move somewhere else, not because where I am is hell (some days close enough) but because I like change. Change is good. Change is something that I have always thought of as being a part of my life.

At this point I'm almost at work and the thought that came next was - why? Why do I need to move? Why do I need change so much? Why do I crave change in my life? As I pulled into the parking lot my conclusion was as follows. I have been taught by the media, books, and my father that moving is necessary, that it is what you should want. My father finds it difficult to settle down. It's a miracle he didn't move us while I was in HS. Eventually he did move and my mom followed suit. All of the heroines in literature had to leave to find their future or their love or their passions. Rarely does a novel character stay in their hometown, they may come back but they always have to leave. Media? How many shows base their premise on the characters moving?  Many. New characters are always moving in from small towns. Obviously big city life is way more exciting and fun.

The conclusions were only about the cause for my need to move. Now I need to find a solution to my desire to move and a decision about whether I truly believe the grass is greener somewhere else. I live 5 minutes from work, it took me 5 minutes to have an existential crisis. I need to stop listening to NPR.


  1. Most of the people where I work are from other places. Most have lived in multiple places chasing jobs. They think it is odd that I havent have moved around too. However they work here and I was already working here and I love it. Why do I need I move? I still live within 6 miles from where I was born.

    1. I know tons of people who stayed in my "hometown" but having moved around as a kid so much I guess I just assumed I would continue to do so in adulthood. I envy you a little, you found all you wanted right where you were; not an easy feat :)