Grateful in Texas

What an eventful year this has been, so many changes for good and bad. The last time I wrote something I had been thinking about myself mostly, focusing on my future and my needs. A lot of "my" and "I" thinking but not very much of anything else. Mind you I feel that we are all entitled to a little bit of that thinking from time to time but sometimes it is difficult to not let it take over. However, today I will not share anything related to politics, groups affected by recent politics, or anything that can lead to negative thoughts. I need a break from the world and its very confusing environment, I will concentrate instead on the positive!

Well, the best news I can possibly share is this:

I HAVE A JOB!!!!!!!!

Wait it gets better! I have a job doing something I actually wanted to do! I know, I told you it only got better. Yes, I am working as a Research Administrator and although it is a steep learning curve - I LOVE IT! It is not the most exciting or glamorous job in the world but it is a change that I wanted and needed in my life. You could call me a glorified paper pusher but after years of dealing with bio-hazardous waste (literally & metaphorically), I'm enjoying wearing something other than bleach-stained jeans. I'm sure that not everyone is nice and that I am bound to have some run-ins with a few "characters" but on the whole I am happy of having an 8-to-5 job. Believe me it is not a small thing to have this type of job because let me tell you that the life of laboratory people is hard work and long hours. The work can be rewarding but the sacrifice made in the lab is no small feat and for me it was no longer one I wanted to continue. I think as great as all of that is, the best is that it is no longer grant funded. You have no idea the stability and comfort I now feel and how absolutely grateful I am for those two things.

As of my last post I had promised a post on the finished product in my bathroom but honestly I feel quite superficial writing about a silly bathroom when so much has happened. I still need to take the pictures, maybe I'll do that tonight being as I have free evenings and I leave work early.

Grateful Friday

This week being grateful is going to be very difficult. There were a lot of things that didn't work out for me and a deadline I did not meet. The latter has thrown a shadow over all of the week. I know I shouldn't define myself by my work because it's just a job, it is not all of me but it is very difficult to see myself or circumstances in any type of positive light. However, the point of being nicer to myself and these posts is to find the positive in my life and myself, so here goes.

• I have woken up every single morning this week, albeit with the help of an alarm but it counts.
• I took a positive step on Tuesday towards better mental and emotional well-being. I'm not quite ready to disclose details yet but it actually made the rest of the week much more bearable.
• I have written some kick-ass cover letters this week. Details to come.
• I have not killed any plants despite my lack of attention this week. 
• I had lunch with my bestie and have weekend plans with her.
• I let go of an issue that was bothering me, it was a nasty email and I let it go. 
• I watched a cool movie - "Man Up" a british comedy.
• Finally had some good results at work, even if the deadline was missed.

Outside of work I didn't have a whole lot of interactions with other people. My bestie works on a different floor now and I don't get to see her as often, just at lunch and not always. Currently my only human interactions involve co-workers, my sister is out of town so I'm on my own. Although my co-workers are nice, but they're co-workers. We do the friend thing outside of work but I think all of us sometimes just don't want to see each others faces. 

As for the deadline, I am disappointed in myself but there's nothing I can do now except keep on working and improve my situation. I tend to be very hard on myself and this has really brought me down. I hope I can move on from this funk soon.

Well there you have it, my list on the positive. If you think it's sparse it might be because I have been working extra hours, not a lot of other stuff going on at the moment. Hopefully, next week will be better.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Lives of Passion - ?

I wonder how many people are passionate about what pays their bills, mainly because I've been wondering that myself. I am envious of those people who truly feel that their work/job defines them as a person. For example my boss would die a happy man if he could work in the lab late into his life. Most other people I know just see it as a means to an end.

My first boss in research was focused on making money, although he always pretended it was because he wanted to treat cancer but he was defined by his work. The next one was better and she was more dedicated to the "fun" of the research but in the end it really didn't define her. The one after her was confused about how he saw his career. I think he wanted fame and money but also was in "love" with the science, in the end it doesn't define him. The present boss is defined by his work, even on vacation he'll check in or dedicate some time to his work. None of these situations are bad or good, they're in-between.

Minion Hat for the nephew.

I think when we define ourselves by our work, what we are really saying is that it is something we are passionate about. Those above I think simply found what they are passionate about. A recurring theme for me is that - no passion. I always feel confused and frustrated when people ask me what my passion is. I do not feel I have a passion but I enjoy doing so much. Let's see, I like to knit, crochet, draw, paint, build things, renovate items/houses, honestly anything creative. Also when I'm helping people, whether teaching a technique or helping someone else with something.

What to do then to find something to be passionate about? First I want to look back over my past. If I had to pick a job that I truly enjoyed, it was when I was a student assistant at UTEP. I processed the applications for incoming international (foreign) students and helped validate their financial information. Believe it or not most universities have other students look at bank statements for foreign nationals, yeah I know sooooo responsible. It's not that I enjoyed looking at bank statements, more like I enjoyed the interaction with the incoming students and providing them with assistance. That is my favorite from my varied job history, which includes retail (Eddie Bauer & Best Buy), restaurants (McD's), teaching, research, and door-to-door sales of tamales/sundries. The sundries includes stuff I would sell during the summer from catalogs to get cool stuff. My parents weren't huge on allowances, you did chores because you lived there and that was a privilege.

Perhaps that is the answer, something that has paperwork to push but also gives me varied human interaction? What exactly falls under this that does not leave me responsible for 100+ kids? Well, teaching was my second favorite. Perhaps I should be a bureaucrat? No I have an issue with extreme inefficiency. More thought needs to go into this. Sigh.

Well off to rethink this passions thing.

Summer's Wintery Highlight

Hello everyone!

Church waiting to be
rebuilt after the last earthquake.

I was reading through my blog yesterday and I thought what else could I add to my description of Chile? Honestly it was more I got to know a few people and ate out while I was there. Very delicious food mind you, the ceviche is to die for there and coming from a person who doesn't like seafood that says a lot! I'm not huge on seafood but I did enjoy it while I was there. Oh yeah, I was in Valparaiso which is a twin city with Viña del Mar. I guess I can take Viña off my bucket list, I had always wanted to go to a music festival they have there and technically I've been to Viña now. I may not have attended the music festival but I'm going to count it because the festival does not appeal to me anymore. It would be cold, wet, and probably musicians I've never even heard of now. Viña - check!

Quintay, a former whaling village.

Quintay.

Those two cities have a strange dynamic. Viña is nice and posh, very clean, still some graffiti but overall nice. Valparaiso not so nice, not posh, not very clean (public urination is apparently an issue), lots of graffiti but I still liked it for some reason. Perhaps it's because I got to meet a bunch of really nice people who lived in the area and got to walk around with someone who lives there. I think that makes a huge difference in one's opinion of a city. Mind you both cities were amazing and I enjoyed my time there, I really hope I get to go back sometime in the future. I don't think I can add more to my thoughts on this matter so I'll just leave you with some pictures.

Algarobo

Casablanca

Valparaiso

Sniffles

I had written a mundane post about boring old weather but the shame made me delete it. Seriously? Is that all I can write about? Apparently it is, seems my world is so bleak right now that all I can write about is bleak weather. It has been kind of crazy but still not worth more than this blurb.

The universe has taken my cry for excitement seriously and has decided to be a jerk. I was out sick the whole last week! I had food poisoning on Monday and was told to do a little recovery on Tuesday. I happily agreed on Tuesday. Then Wednesday morning my body betrayed me! I woke up congested, sneezing, coughing, and with low-grade fever. Thursday I caved and went to see a doctor but the drugs didn't help much - at least not the day drugs. The night drugs? Those were AMAZING! Breathing and sleeping go together very nicely. Friday was more of Thursday but by Saturday I was on the mend. Sunday my sense of smell finally returned! I was not overjoyed, I could smell some garlic that fell behind something and couldn't find it; it was going bad and no bueno. Let's just say that last week was a total bust. Yeah thanks for the excitement universe.

Otherwise, exploring some options - in between naps. Hopefully next week I'll have more to write about. This week might be a bust because I have tons of work to catchup on and still feel pretty tired.

Girasoles and Half-Year Recaps

Well we have passed the half-year mark and I'm wondering where the time has gone! I spent most of February sick so that wasn't awesome. I spent March & April limping. I'm not sure what happened in May, seriously I lost a whole month! I think I limped part of that month too. I think we need to recap and regroup for this year.

Things I have accomplished thus far in 2014:

Sunflower from my garden :)

• I joined the gym after all! I joined in April but didn't actually go until June. Yeah paid for 2 months I did not use but I blame it on the plantar fasciitis. Good progress made there (see Jaw Dropping).
• I've made progress in my gardening but I definitely didn't do the veggies or fruit; just not enough time.
• I have purged material things from my life but I have not simplified as I wanted to. I think I complicated instead. I volunteered for a political campaign and turns out I don't like volunteering. I really wish I did but I don't. Perhaps that type of volunteering is just not for me, perhaps food banks? I like food.
• I have watched less TV because I'm so busy but I have to admit there are days that I just go home and veg out in front of the TV, I do absolutely nothing and binge watch. This happens less and less but it still happens. Must work on this.
• I haven't tried that many vegetarian/vegan recipes but I have kept up with the 1/month. Perhaps that's why I haven't seen a dramatic dip in the weight - I'm still eating fast food.

Things I still have to accomplish - many. If I enumerate I might quit. Life has been good this year, new babies and new friends. Perhaps I'm not the jet-setting photojournalist I once thought I could be - motion sickness prohibits this - but life is pretty good over all. There are so many things to be grateful for, so much that makes me happy! OK. Today. Today is a happy day, I don't know why but it is. There shouldn't have to be a reason, lets just be happy.

Nice Levels Dangerously Low

Today's post was going to be a very angry rant. I wrote it out and had juicy details, all that good stuff but once I had written it out my anger started to fade. Sort of. Suffice to say that some people suck the nice right out of you, I work with someone like that. Managed to suck a weeks worth of nice out of me. Anyway, although his face is still distasteful I no longer feel the need to punch it in - for now. Really reminds me of that crazy roommate I had, she never did anything wrong but you did.  This co-worker the same, only with male genitalia.

On a lighter note, my foot feels almost normal now.  Although quick question, is your heel supposed to pop when you walk barefoot?