Feelin' Good

Well hello everyone! How is everyone out there? Me well I'm OK, sort of I guess. I am still unemployed but not unhappy or even completely freaked out. I am well, actually pretty happy. Is that strange? I know had started to freak out because I have officially been unemployed for 2 months but it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. Let me describe it a little.

#1 - I have enjoyed the time off, I have worked every month of the past 22 years of my life and this "break" has been a godsend. I really needed to just clear my head and truly find some peace, which I think I achieved for the most part. I'm still sort of freaking out but I've tried to not focus too much on that. Something that helped was that I had an interview 2 weeks ago and it seemed promising. It would be an amazing opportunity for me and has a lot more room for growth in the future, besides the great salary! The best part of it involves a lot of admin work but it is still in my field! I finished the interview and they did say it would take them 2 to 3 weeks to reach a decision and I'm assuming that's because they had others to interview. They may have gone in order of how the applications were received, if that was the case I may have been the first interviewee. I literally submitted my application the same day that job was posted. Yeah I was that excited.

~2 days old.

#2 - I now have a new nephew and let me tell you that those cute bundles are a great stress reliever, especially if you are not it's main source of nourishment. I feel for my sister, that is a difficult thing to do. He is a cutie pie and I love him to bits! I have not forgotten the oldest cutie pie either, I have actually made a greater effort to do things with him on a daily basis. This past weekend and most of this week I spent it helping out my sister and doing lots of babysitting. My mother had been here for the past month or so but she took a break too. I mean come on, a new baby plus a spoiled grandson? Abuelitas can only take so much. Yeah I got my fill of poopy diapers and hungry crying but I loved it too.

#3 - This is pretty important, at least I think so. I realized how sad and unhappy I was at my last job. Perhaps the situation wasn't the worst but I have to admit that it wasn't that okay either. Not even going to say close to best, because it only managed to make the OK list. It was partly the situation and partly the work itself. I think that's why #1 is still alright with me. I was decent at my work but honestly when it came down to it I just didn't see myself pipetting bacteria for the rest of my life. Not just that but I didn't have the desire or drive to continue that work. Some people are happy doing that day-in and day-out but not this Mexican. I needed something that I'm good at and that at the end of the day it ends. Yup, I really want an 8 to 5 scenario, never thought I would say that but there you go :)

Oh yeah and the garden is well, although I've stopped instagraming my photos because they were bad luck! Every single watermelon that I took a picture of or other plant for that matter - DIED!!!!! Yeah I stopped doing that and I now have 2 surviving cantaloupe plants, plus 3 large watermelons that will be ready in a few days. I hope. The front yard needs to be harvested for flower seeds and the grass is good. My "new" bathroom is also almost ready :) Oh yeah I redid the guest bath 2 weeks ago with my Dad! Pictures coming eventually.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Grateful Friday

I am on my 3rd day of unemployment and it has been kind of nice but soon enough full on panic mode will set in and I will take the first job offered to me. Actually I came a micron away from having a job last week and it was uplifting because I hadn't even applied there. They ended up hiring someone with a masters degree because it killed 2 birds with one stone but I honestly think I was the frontrunner for that position. It would have been an inconvenience to actually take that job but I admit that I was a little excited about it even if I would have had to move. Fresh air and new people would have been nice but I guess things tend to work out for the best and who knows perhaps there are better things around the bend.

My initial plans were to spend my days working in the garden but I have to admit that I have not stuck to all of my goals. The first day all I did was relax and wallow a little in self-pity but that is also the day I found out I didn't get the above position - oh yeah it was for chemistry teacher at a HS 90 minutes away from where I live. It also rained cats and dogs that day and the next so gardening has been out of the question. I also had a therapy session that day and that helped me move past the self-pity session. Second day I actually went through my house with my sister and got together a bunch of stuff to sell at a garage sale on Saturday, it was nice to slough off excess even if I don't actually have tons of excess stuff. Either way it was good to get rid of stuff associated to things that were negative or what-if's. Today I have spent most of the day doing chores around the house, I also have some books so I can study some for my certification and then some time with my sister to be able to organize the garage sale for tomorrow. Although by previous standards - that burn me out - I am not as productive, I still feel quite productive. 

So what am I grateful for this week?

• I'm so grateful that I've let go of what I thought my life should be and am embarking on the possibilities it could be.
• Especially grateful for my family and all their support.
• Thankful for my friend Isa who has been a rock, I only hope I can be of help to her too.
• Very grateful to my therapist who has been a great cheerleader when I have most needed it.
• Grateful to find my center again and realize that 18 yo me had a pretty clear idea of who she was and I let others and time almost convince me that was too childish.
• Glad that music is the salve that is readily available for my soul. I have to admit just listening to some good music helps me immensely. Probably why I got so mad at that one co-worker who insisted on no music in the lab, I need it to focus and for relaxation.

OK that last one was little philosophical and sarcastic me is rolling her eyes right now but it's true.

 Well I hope everyone has had a great week and you have a great weekend :)

Budget Dreams

I haven't thought about this in a long time and I have to say that my ideal has definitely changed over time. In my teens the ultimate goal was to travel to Europe and see the great classics, which I did for the most part. Mind you I worked 2 jobs, went to school full-time, and commuted for 2 hours everyday to go to school/work to be able to afford this trip. This was definitely something my family could NOT pay for at the time or even now for that matter. I worked my ass off for that trip and I have great memories from that trip. I don't think I had a typical experience as far as college students are concerned but it was my own.

I have walked the streets of Paris and sat beneath the Eiffel Tower during a night filled with fireworks. The only thing missing that night was a beautiful male model feeding me chocolate covered strawberries and champagne. I walked the paths of the Druids at Stonehenge and climbed the Alps in Switzerland. In Greece, I had plates broken over my head and walked the ruins of Athens. I can't complain. I've seen a lot in my life, all of this before I was 25 years old. Now I've even had the opportunity to travel to South America, perhaps not as many countries as Europe but I will not complain. Yes I know it was during winter and it was for work but it was still cool.

Now however, my budget is much more limited than it was in my teens and 20's. I have a house to pay, utility bills, chores, and adult-like responsibilities. Student loan debt is no joke and no matter how much Elizabeth Warren hits at banks and the Fed about student loans, I don't think that interest rates will ease up on students or their families. Budget woes in mind, I think my ideal vacation would be spending it with my family somewhere in the US. My father's dream is to drive up to Yellowstone Park and camp out. I am not a camper, I like beds above the ground away from spiders and I adore indoor bathrooms with plumbing. However, I would actually love to do this trip with my family. I've always wanted to visit that part of the US and although it may not be the glamorous streets of Rome or Paris, I have no doubt that it would be beautiful. At the ripe old age of 37, a road trip with my family (parents, sisters, nephews, and in-laws) is the dream vacation nowadays.


Where would you go on your dream vacation?

Thank You Notes

Things to be grateful for in the year 2014? I don't know about you but I've had to think hard about this one, not because it was a bad year. I feel there weren't major life altering events that changed any paradigms. It was more a lot of little things that made this a really good year. I had some goals for this year and I have worked on them even if I haven't finished  to my extremely high expectations of perfection or they are still in progress.

As for the things I'm grateful for, well let's see:

• I am glad that I decided to volunteer with the political campaign for Wendy Davis. Although she didn't win - I was very sad about that - I do feel like I made a difference. I may not have liked how they handled the volunteer portion but I may do it again. I think next time I just won't try to dedicate so much time and make sure that I have the time and energy for activities. 
• I am grateful for the time I spent with family this year because a lot of issues were laid to rest. No family is perfect but being able to talk about issues is important. 
• I am so happy that I have kept the whole gym thing going! I won't lie there have been days where I just wanted to lay in bed and there were days I did just that but overall I have been pretty good about going! I am very happy and proud of myself. 
• I am grateful for all of the new friends I have made!
• I learned quite a bit at work this year and made quite a large amount of progress in my projects. Having these experiences has been wonderful, especially the trip to San Francisco.
• There's another thing I am really grateful for! I got to travel to San Francisco and had a great time with my friends in the city and at the conference.
• I am so thankful for all of the great moments I spent with friends and family!
• I am thankful for all of the little things that made this year so great. 
• I am even thankful for the bad things, there are a few things that I can honestly say have made me a better person this year.The ticket I got did not make me a better person, just an angry person.

Next comes a comprehensive and deep analysis of my future, loosely translates to bemoaning things not accomplished and what I want to accomplish next year. Lets see how exciting the next year is!

Debauchery and Such

Well I'm still swimming along, I have been trying to as often as possible but I haven't been everyday. I am now kicking well but I still need something to hold on to while in the water. Still can't float on my back without human assistance, I can float face down without human assistance. Floaty thingies do not count as human assistance, which I still need to float face down. My kicking has definitely improved, it's harder than I thought it would be. Yesterday I was pretty excited that my kicking had improved but I have to say I'm still disappointed that I can't float without assistance. I know things don't happen overnight but I'm still not happy. I have few virtues, patience is not one of them. So, I have control issues and no patience. Yeah.

Eating a dozen of these is the extent of my debauchery.

On a lighter note, has anyone watched Once Upon A Time this season? I feel let down. I think they jumped on the Frozen bandwagon way too fast. There were so many storylines they could have focused on, instead they brought Frozen into the mix. Meh. Hopefully the season improves. Other than this work and gym have been my life. I've been a little bored lately. Hmmm. I need some hijinks or debauchery, or both. Which would be the most fun? Not that I participate in debauchery often or I think ever, but there's always a first time for everything :)


Well I'm off, have a fun weekend everyone!

Girasoles and Half-Year Recaps

Well we have passed the half-year mark and I'm wondering where the time has gone! I spent most of February sick so that wasn't awesome. I spent March & April limping. I'm not sure what happened in May, seriously I lost a whole month! I think I limped part of that month too. I think we need to recap and regroup for this year.

Things I have accomplished thus far in 2014:

Sunflower from my garden :)

• I joined the gym after all! I joined in April but didn't actually go until June. Yeah paid for 2 months I did not use but I blame it on the plantar fasciitis. Good progress made there (see Jaw Dropping).
• I've made progress in my gardening but I definitely didn't do the veggies or fruit; just not enough time.
• I have purged material things from my life but I have not simplified as I wanted to. I think I complicated instead. I volunteered for a political campaign and turns out I don't like volunteering. I really wish I did but I don't. Perhaps that type of volunteering is just not for me, perhaps food banks? I like food.
• I have watched less TV because I'm so busy but I have to admit there are days that I just go home and veg out in front of the TV, I do absolutely nothing and binge watch. This happens less and less but it still happens. Must work on this.
• I haven't tried that many vegetarian/vegan recipes but I have kept up with the 1/month. Perhaps that's why I haven't seen a dramatic dip in the weight - I'm still eating fast food.

Things I still have to accomplish - many. If I enumerate I might quit. Life has been good this year, new babies and new friends. Perhaps I'm not the jet-setting photojournalist I once thought I could be - motion sickness prohibits this - but life is pretty good over all. There are so many things to be grateful for, so much that makes me happy! OK. Today. Today is a happy day, I don't know why but it is. There shouldn't have to be a reason, lets just be happy.

Writer's Block or Soap Box?

What a long month! Well work has been of intense of late and I've been experiencing quite a bit of writer's block. I've also been travelling. I've been hitching rides with the brother-in-law (BIL) to go see my sister and my parents every time he travels. Right now he has a job that keeps him away a lot so when he goes home, I go home. Well my other home. I think no matter how old you are home will always be at your parents house, wherever they are. Crazy but true, at least for this Mexican. Still at work right now but hoping that water would move faster than honey in December. Science, some days you love it, other days you want to be Marco Rubio and deny it all.

I've been following the politics a little. Just a little. I'm a pretty liberal person, in case the internets hasn't noticed. Actually if you live in TX I don't know if you can ever call yourself a liberal. That being said today I saw an odd article on the NY Times regarding the death penalty. I am not a staunch supporter of the death penalty but I am also not a serious opponent. The NY Times was - I guess - trying to condemn the death penalty in the article, calling Texas the most efficient state at administering the Death Penalty. It was surprising and a little sad but I think many Texans rarely think about it because it isn't publicized as much as you would think. It's pretty low-key, they use pentobarbital (I've used this myself on animals), and the only people present are usually family of the sentenced and the victim, along with necessary staff. Besides the lack of publicity in our state, the article goes on to say that more than 50% of the population supports the penalty.  When the death penalty is handed down, that is a solace (perhaps) for the victims families. There is that desire in some people to see the person who took from them a loved one, be put to death. I hope to never be in that position but I wonder if I would be so ready to forgive or to be OK with a life sentence only. I don't know that I wouldn't want them dead too. I think for that reason I do not oppose, but I do condemn the death penalty for it's failings. I think my biggest issue is the fact that so many people are condemned being innocent and that you can release someone from prison for a crime they didn't commit but you can't bring  someone back from the dead. Such a serious topic.  Sorry. Off my soap box.

Umm. So. I changed my profile pic! OK I'll be back tomorrow with something better.  I hope.