Grey Clouds Are Here to Stay

Okay, maybe a slight exaggeration. It's just that these clouds do not want to move on, they're ruining Mexico's coast, drowning El Paso, and over all causing great sadness in my life. The first 2 or 3 days everyone was saying, "WOW! Rain we love you!", now we're all saying, "OK WTF?!". We are so blue, I'm not kidding everyone in the department today was either having a bad day or feeling down in the dumps. We had a storm on Wednesday that was harsh! It rained so hard that we couldn't see across the street. This is an image from that day. I had to document the day because no one would believe that TX has days like this, at least not on the South Plains.

This week has been pretty blah due to the weather, haven't felt too productive due to the weather. Recently celebrated my Abuelita's birthday and it was awesome; being at her house and just being with my loved ones was regenerative. I hadn't been home in quite some time, it was nice to be with people that you love especially in a place that represents so much. My childhood was lived there in that house, I have lived and learned much at my grandmother's home. That is a true home. I miss her just writing about this, hopefully I'll be spending a lot more time there in the future. I had forgotten why I tried to spend every single weekend and vacation day at that house. It was fun, safe, and loving, providing the perfect environment for a child. Oh and it wasn't grey skies nor was it cold - it was perfect. Missing the sunny skies of El Paso.

Alright it was a little cloudy.

Updates and Such

There's been a lot going on lately in my life and I have been trying to write a post for the past 2 weeks. The rate was pretty slow, I mean it was like 2 letters a day for half of the previous sentence!

Updates? Many!

Well I have kept the gym thing going, even when I have to go at it alone. The new semester has begun and so have the new spin classes. Monday mornings at 630, the instructor isn't bad looking and his style is very interactive. He is not constantly on the bike but instead walking around and making sure everybody has good form, I enjoyed the class. I like order and structure, hence the science. Friday mornings - again 630 - a friend and I do Zumba. Love that class! The other days my friend and I drag ourselves to the gym and do a little cardio (I don't try too hard at this) and then lift some weights (I try harder at this).

This month I haven't truly volunteered because I slacked it at work during the summer and am now trying to meet a deadline. It's not that I'll lose my job but I would like to meet the deadline because it implies my travelling :) Who wants to pass up a chance to travel? For free? Yeah I thought so. Otherwise work is pretty awesome, crystallizing stuff and learning new techniques. You know, owning the science. Yup.

Available here.

I know life sounds amazing but other areas aren't perfect. Ask me if there's any time leftover to go out and meet someone? Nope. None. No one in the life. No time in the life. The yard is a mess. Both front and back. My house is disgustingly disorganized. I have not been to my knitting group in forever. There's a lot of stuff that has been ignored in my personal life. Not everything is peachy but I guess that's how it goes. Some things are great, others are definitely not great. Worst part is I think we've entered an early Fall. Yes temperatures dropped this week and I have a gut feeling they will not pick up again. I know it's September but usually we have a very warm start to Fall. Well I guess I need to dig out some sweaters some time soon. I apologize to the reader's who live in the North, I know that 24C (75F) is not freezing but you aren't from the desert. We like warm weather. I mean really like it. One day of grey weather and we wonder how more northern people don't cry all of the time.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful weekend! I will be spending some time in my beloved desert and will warm up - hopefully. 

Silly Games and Inspiration

Writing has been a little difficult lately, not much inspiration. Life has been mainly work, volunteer, and looking out the window to check on a dog I no longer have. I've been thinking of adopting a pet but I don't think I will, not for quite some time. Not ready.

Otherwise, the summer has flown by. Summer is never the same length as that stated on the calendar. For me summer begins at the end or mid-April. Sounds silly but when you live in TX, it sometimes feels like summer begins extremely early and ends quite late in the year. At least in El Paso, I remember thinking it was hot in April and hot in October. Yes, when you're ankle deep in leaves or snow, TX is still wearing their summer clothing. In some areas it means Uggs year round. Especially if they have a university, very fashion forward peoples.

Speaking of fashion forward peoples, the students have returned to LBB - the canadian geese are not far behind. Thankfully the roosting ground near my house is being developed and they are starting to shift away from my house. Their infernal honking can carry for miles but at least it won't feel like they're outside my window. This also means that the gym will now be populated by many young girls looking for mates and young men scavenging like the hormonal crazies they are. It's always funny to watch them, sometimes I narrate their habits in my head, reminds me of that scene at the watering hole in Mean Girls. :) It's pretty funny. 

Well, that felt a little mean but pretty accurate. On the entertainment front - to move away from the mean factor - watched Lucy and Guardians of the Galaxy! Philosophical tripe and surprisingly funny & entertaining, respectively. Lucy tried too hard at the science and missed the mark, thus they compensated with philosophy. Guardians was surprisingly good, funny without the slap stick humor, and fun. You left the theater happy! Lucy, you left the theater having rolled your eyes so far back, you saw your brain.

Well everyone, have a great week! But none for you Gretchen Weiners.

Contradicting Views

Today while driving into work I was thinking of all the things I want to do in my front yard, in the back yard, inside the house, etc. Then it hit me, I don't plan on living in that house forever and I won't always have that decor/landscape. I will invest all of this time and effort into something that I will not enjoy for the rest of my life. Then I thought why don't I just stay there for my future family? That led to the thought but I want to live abroad or just move somewhere else, not because where I am is hell (some days close enough) but because I like change. Change is good. Change is something that I have always thought of as being a part of my life.

At this point I'm almost at work and the thought that came next was - why? Why do I need to move? Why do I need change so much? Why do I crave change in my life? As I pulled into the parking lot my conclusion was as follows. I have been taught by the media, books, and my father that moving is necessary, that it is what you should want. My father finds it difficult to settle down. It's a miracle he didn't move us while I was in HS. Eventually he did move and my mom followed suit. All of the heroines in literature had to leave to find their future or their love or their passions. Rarely does a novel character stay in their hometown, they may come back but they always have to leave. Media? How many shows base their premise on the characters moving?  Many. New characters are always moving in from small towns. Obviously big city life is way more exciting and fun.

The conclusions were only about the cause for my need to move. Now I need to find a solution to my desire to move and a decision about whether I truly believe the grass is greener somewhere else. I live 5 minutes from work, it took me 5 minutes to have an existential crisis. I need to stop listening to NPR.

My Sunshine

Well, hello everyone. I have been writing a little more consistently and I'm glad, writing always makes me feel better. With that in mind, I have some sad news.

Marshmallow 2004 - 2014

My Marshmallow passed away. On Monday she passed in her sleep. We went down to Carlsbad and my sister was going to take her in for euthanization because it was that time but she decided to go on her own terms. I do not think she suffered greatly, my Mother spent the whole day with her and said that she had breakfast but her auto-immune disease had returned. I knew it was a matter of time before that caught up to us. I felt like a coward for having my sister do it but I would start crying each time I even thought of that moment. However, I'm glad she went on her own terms. My brain still thinks of her as being at home, yesterday I thought to myself, "I wonder if she finished her water" and then it hit me she wasn't there anymore. Since I found out she passed in her sleep I have used every euphemism for death possible but I haven't said it, written it, or honestly thought it - Marshmallow died. I think everyone avoids that phrase until they're ready to admit it to themselves. For weeks now I have been spoiling her and just trying to avoid thinking or seeing what was about to happen. I couldn't imagine my life without her, I still can't. In the past few days I find myself thinking of things for her, checking on her, of seeing her very mischievous face in the mornings. Eventually I will be OK but for now I'm pretty sad and I miss her a lot. There are things that keep me occupied but my brain/heart aren't really present. I think I'll just be sad for a while.

One funny story about her. She learned Spanish as her first language so she would only listen to me if I was speaking in Spanish. English? What? Are you crazy?!

When I would wake up in the mornings my greeting to Marshmallow was singing this song to her, well parts of it. Only sometimes I would say Sunshine instead because she was blonde

The economic benefits of being beautiful

Well this is a lot sad!