Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fear. Show all posts

08 April 2016

Grateful Friday

How was this week? Bad and good. The week started off badly but it ended on a slightly positive note – I guess. Partially bad because I saw some true colors (mine and others) but also good because I have made a decision that is going to impact me dramatically in a positive manner.  First lets go through the grateful list and then I’ll explain all the coming changes.

  •  I woke up every day this week. Always good. 
  • I had a day off during the week.
  •  There is more sun in the evenings and I get to do stuff outside now! I missed the sun! I usually get out of work late, no matter what the entry time is, which means during daylight savings time I leave when it’s already dark or the sun is setting.
  • I have great friends and an amazing sister. I really needed their support this week and they truly came through for me.
  • I had surprise blue bonnets this week in my garden! I was surprised because nothing bloomed last year from any of the lupine seeds I planted but apparently they only bloom when they want to, at least in my case.
  • I put away a good amount of money for a rainy day (not a whole lot but to me a lot).
  • I got to play soccer and basketball with my nephew almost every day this week in the afternoons. That was fun and he seemed to enjoy the time together.
  • I cleaned out my closet of clothing that does not fit and is outdated, a little hard to do but necessary.


Okay now for the big changes! Well, I am leaving science – I hope. I have spoken with my boss and we decided that this is not for me; I think he knew before I did but I’m glad he allowed me to give notice instead. Mind you when I left the last lab and moved to this one I was really unhappy at the time. When I started in this lab the people made it such a nice place to work that I pulled the wool over my eyes. Although I love to learn new things, I made the same mistake I had made before – I worked weekends and late nights and burnt myself out; at the same time setting ridiculous expectations for my employer of what my schedule would be. This is not the schedule I wanted or want, especially as my family is now closer. I want time to volunteer and not feel like I am failing at work for leaving at 18:30. I want to go home and cook a dinner and eat it before 22:00 or at least have dinner with my sister. I want to wake up during the weekend and not think about having to go to the lab.

I don’t have another job lined up but I have almost 2 months to find one before the cash flow stops. I did have an interview this week but they decided to go in a different direction. I literally went through the whole process – 1 phone interview, 1 online testing, and a final interview. The next day they emailed me, saying no thanks which was surprising because they had discussed salary, training, benefits, and scheduling at the end of the interview. I have no idea what went wrong or why they said no but I was really bummed afterwards. This is where the friends and family stepped in and helped out a lot!

Obviously I am still looking and hopefully I find something soon, my end date here is May 31st and I have a small nest egg in vacation time. The company pays out unused vacation time and I have about 2 months’ worth of vacation time just sitting there; that can float me for a bit if I don’t find work in the interim. I gave my notice with the understanding that if I do find work prior to the end date then I leave before then and I really hope that I find work before then.  Otherwise I will be at work and finish up some projects before I leave.
I am scared and excited, I am also freaking out some but I have faith I will find something soon. Somewhere I can grow both in position and salary because this altruistic science thing does not pay the bills comfortably.


I hope everyone has a great weekend!