Grateful Friday

Well hello there everyone, as news goes there's not much to share, I am still working on my yard -front and back - and still looking for work. Life has moved on and I am definitely in a better place emotionally. I am still visiting my therapist and it's been helpful because I had a few bumps when I left the lab. Lets just say that letting go of the negative has never been my strong suit and she's really helped me. I know I haven't done a Grateful Friday in a while but honestly it's not for lack of gratefulness, more like I have just been busy and happy. There have been some freak out days and sad days but for the most part I've been positive.

Yesterday was a sad day because I of course lamented my situation and everything that has been going on. I was not very positive and all I could do was think what am I going to do? I am going to starve, lose my house, and end up a vagabond. Then I reminded myself, a) you are to OCD to be a vagabond, b) you have money to survive for 3 months comfortably, c) your family would help if need be, finally d) you will find a job and you will succeed. Of course that didn't come until the end of the day but I made it through and I guess once in a while taking a mental health day is needed, even if you aren't working at the tim. Yeah I've never been good at the positive stuff, my mind has always been a worst scenario kind of person and that's a habit that isn't easy to give up.

Gratefully this Friday here is my list:

Wildflower garden.

• I am grateful for enough strength to be able to do the work I have been doing for my home and family.
• The days are longer and sweeter of late, I am definitely a helionist.
• Very grateful for the little one that will arrive next week! Not me, my sister I would have shared a sonogram if it were me.
• I am very grateful that I am out of the toxic environment I was in previously.
• I am hopeful for the future, although this is not "gratefulness" per se, it is something to be happy for because hopeful was not a word I would have used to describe myself 2 months ago.
• I am grateful for the friends that have stood by me and their support.
• For the people that I know that are helpful and kind towards me.
• Even for those that have not been kind to me or helpful because through it all they taught me valuable lessons.
• Extremely grateful that this month has been so kind because I needed it.

Well what else is there to say? Nothing much more for this week but only that I hope that all are well and that everyone has a great weekend!

Grateful Friday

I am on my 3rd day of unemployment and it has been kind of nice but soon enough full on panic mode will set in and I will take the first job offered to me. Actually I came a micron away from having a job last week and it was uplifting because I hadn't even applied there. They ended up hiring someone with a masters degree because it killed 2 birds with one stone but I honestly think I was the frontrunner for that position. It would have been an inconvenience to actually take that job but I admit that I was a little excited about it even if I would have had to move. Fresh air and new people would have been nice but I guess things tend to work out for the best and who knows perhaps there are better things around the bend.

My initial plans were to spend my days working in the garden but I have to admit that I have not stuck to all of my goals. The first day all I did was relax and wallow a little in self-pity but that is also the day I found out I didn't get the above position - oh yeah it was for chemistry teacher at a HS 90 minutes away from where I live. It also rained cats and dogs that day and the next so gardening has been out of the question. I also had a therapy session that day and that helped me move past the self-pity session. Second day I actually went through my house with my sister and got together a bunch of stuff to sell at a garage sale on Saturday, it was nice to slough off excess even if I don't actually have tons of excess stuff. Either way it was good to get rid of stuff associated to things that were negative or what-if's. Today I have spent most of the day doing chores around the house, I also have some books so I can study some for my certification and then some time with my sister to be able to organize the garage sale for tomorrow. Although by previous standards - that burn me out - I am not as productive, I still feel quite productive. 

So what am I grateful for this week?

• I'm so grateful that I've let go of what I thought my life should be and am embarking on the possibilities it could be.
• Especially grateful for my family and all their support.
• Thankful for my friend Isa who has been a rock, I only hope I can be of help to her too.
• Very grateful to my therapist who has been a great cheerleader when I have most needed it.
• Grateful to find my center again and realize that 18 yo me had a pretty clear idea of who she was and I let others and time almost convince me that was too childish.
• Glad that music is the salve that is readily available for my soul. I have to admit just listening to some good music helps me immensely. Probably why I got so mad at that one co-worker who insisted on no music in the lab, I need it to focus and for relaxation.

OK that last one was little philosophical and sarcastic me is rolling her eyes right now but it's true.

 Well I hope everyone has had a great week and you have a great weekend :)