Happy Halloween!

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Post by I fucking love science.

Hugs and Health Fairs

Hugs and kisses from a 4 year old, a dangerous pastime if you ask me. About 2 weeks ago my nephew came to visit and the little bugger didn't show any symptoms until Sunday. It was too late for me, I knew it was just a matter of time. Sure enough by Wednesday I was feeling achy and cold, the next day it was a full blown runny nose, congestion, and sore throat. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were non-stop congestion no matter how many decongestants I popped. You know when you try to breath through your nose and instead you hear a high pitched squeak? That was me. Sinus problems and a sore throat. Let us just say that by Saturday I was feeling a little homicidal and had a serious case of cabin fever. I hate being sick but then again other than a kid facing a math test - who doesn't? Either way I have survived the worst, without committing any crimes. I am still recovering but am attempting to rebuild my life.

I know so dramatic.

In other news, I went to a "health fair" at work today to have some major health markers measured. Well the 2 markers I was truly interested in were cholesterol levels and glucose levels. Those 2 machines were broken. What else did they have then? Let me illuminate you. I went downstairs and stood in line to be called fat. When we did the BMI portion I was told I was obese and that I needed to incorporate more exercise into my routine. Oh yeah, control that horrible calorie intake too! Well lets see, I don't have lots of sweets and I go to the gym 5 days out of the week, maybe not this week but special circumstances did not permit me to do so. My antioxidant levels were also low, very low. I was on the Poor end of the scale because despite all the fruits and veggies I eat but obviously a little blue light knows better than I do what I eat. The only silver lining in my fat ridden body was my blood pressure: 107/68. What's worse is being told by a skinny dietician who can't bother to wear work appropriate clothing because she's too fit to be bothered to get out of her gym clothing that you are fat. OK a little mean but I wasn't too happy, I mean it's a fair and the email talked about advice being given. I wonder if she had known how I exercise and what I eat if she would have been so blase? It was not cool. Last time I go to one of those things. The mirror calls me fat too and at least it's polite enough not to do it in public.

Debauchery and Such

Well I'm still swimming along, I have been trying to as often as possible but I haven't been everyday. I am now kicking well but I still need something to hold on to while in the water. Still can't float on my back without human assistance, I can float face down without human assistance. Floaty thingies do not count as human assistance, which I still need to float face down. My kicking has definitely improved, it's harder than I thought it would be. Yesterday I was pretty excited that my kicking had improved but I have to say I'm still disappointed that I can't float without assistance. I know things don't happen overnight but I'm still not happy. I have few virtues, patience is not one of them. So, I have control issues and no patience. Yeah.

Eating a dozen of these is the extent of my debauchery.

On a lighter note, has anyone watched Once Upon A Time this season? I feel let down. I think they jumped on the Frozen bandwagon way too fast. There were so many storylines they could have focused on, instead they brought Frozen into the mix. Meh. Hopefully the season improves. Other than this work and gym have been my life. I've been a little bored lately. Hmmm. I need some hijinks or debauchery, or both. Which would be the most fun? Not that I participate in debauchery often or I think ever, but there's always a first time for everything :)


Well I'm off, have a fun weekend everyone!

Doggie Paddling Along

As in my last post I mentioned the weather let me tell you it's way too cold for my liking right now. The rest of the country is used to these temperatures but Texas is not. Well goodbye Summer, hey Fall. Since it's been cold, I've decided to take swim lessons because no better time to learn to swim than during low temperatures and windy days. Let me tell you about my adventures in the water or as I like to call them "near death experiences".

I know, I am a 35 year old woman who cannot swim or float. Well the latter has improved, I can now float. Everyone says the same thing to me, floating is so easy. No. It. Is. Not. At least not for a control freak such as myself. Now when I say I can float I mean I need a floaty thingy to do the dead man float. Floating on my back, no way in hell that I'm doing that without someone holding me up, even though I don't really need them to hold me but my crazy brain says, "AHHHHHHHHHHH". Then I feel like I'm going to drown and I start flailing around like a fish out of water. Irony? I have been practicing on my own but I'm not going to lie, I am not enjoying something that could be a vital skill for my survival. You know because climate change and the poles melting and all. True story, oceans are rising and climate change is real. Science aside, I thought it might be fun to be able to hang out in the water with friends during the summer, instead of on the side of the pool eying the water with great caution and my friends with envy. I have had 2 lessons, this Sunday is the 3rd and last lesson. I think I may have to pay for several more lessons.

How I feel.

When I first signed up for my lessons I forgot to specify male/female instructor preference. I ended up with a male instructor. Men who stumble upon this post - some females also - will think, so what? Let me tell you what. For women it can be uncomfortable and a little scary to be in a position where a man has control over our ability to breathe, whole drowning thing. Also, we all know I have issues with how I perceive my weight and body, if you didn't know now you do. These are things many women think and feel on a daily basis. Do I want a random male stranger touching me in a what I consider a very intimate manner? Remember you are in a bathing suit and are being touched by a man you don't know and have body issues. How would you feel? Even if you don't have body issues, women are taught from a young age to be wary and careful with men because as the media likes to point out they are all animals with no self control and may at any point in time assault you for no logical reason. School dress codes enforce rules for young girls so they don't tempt boys into assault. We are taught to walk in groups at night because a woman walking alone at night is worthy of assault. What does all this have to do with swimming? I was a little uncomfortable at first with the idea of a male instructor. I am glad I didn't change my instructor because he has been great and very patient! This is not a "see-not-all-men-are-animals-without-any-self-control" post, no this a feminist rant about how we need to teach our children to learn to trust each other, male or female.  Feminism, good for everyone not just the body
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Back to the point and the lessons learned here. I have a deep-seated fear of water. I need to let go of my fear of having my body judged by others - male or female. Also that it's a little embarrassing when the 4 year old swims past me.