This week I am having a hard time coming to grips with the lack of hours in the day. I have so many projects I want to do, that I really want to finish or even start but there are just not enough hours in the day! Mind you I'm not complaining because quite honestly I feel like I've been stuck in a funk for some time now.
I think the funk began last year around June or so, there were lots of good times in between but there was just something off. I had been feeling like something bad had been coming my way but turns out that I just had such a shit time from about 2007 - 2011 that I assumed bad things just happened to me - all of the time. During those years there were some good things but I have to say they had some pretty shit moments. Life happens. There are all these posts out there about not letting the tough times define you but that's easier typed than done. I don't know that many of these writers/bloggers talk about how hard you have to work at letting the bad go and focusing on "growth". It is hard. F-ing hard. Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is "God my foot hurts" (plantar fasciitis) and then I have to make an effort and follow that with "But I can walk". When I look in the mirror I have to actively look and find the beauty in there. It's not always easy, I don't always succeed. When I look out the window and see my very crappy back yard I have to repeat (and repeat) this - Rome wasn't built in a day, my yard will not be beautiful overnight. It will take time to make my yard beautiful. It is extremely difficult to like the person in the mirror some mornings. It is hard to not just throw my arms up in complete frustration and just scream - I QUIT! Today has been an easy day but every now and then it is really difficult to be positive, to grow, to be accepting of me. Self-love is difficult and self-hate is soooo easy.
For today I am grateful that it's been an easy day, lets hope tomorrow is an easy day too.
Peace! (Said street style)
I think the funk began last year around June or so, there were lots of good times in between but there was just something off. I had been feeling like something bad had been coming my way but turns out that I just had such a shit time from about 2007 - 2011 that I assumed bad things just happened to me - all of the time. During those years there were some good things but I have to say they had some pretty shit moments. Life happens. There are all these posts out there about not letting the tough times define you but that's easier typed than done. I don't know that many of these writers/bloggers talk about how hard you have to work at letting the bad go and focusing on "growth". It is hard. F-ing hard. Every morning when I wake up, my first thought is "God my foot hurts" (plantar fasciitis) and then I have to make an effort and follow that with "But I can walk". When I look in the mirror I have to actively look and find the beauty in there. It's not always easy, I don't always succeed. When I look out the window and see my very crappy back yard I have to repeat (and repeat) this - Rome wasn't built in a day, my yard will not be beautiful overnight. It will take time to make my yard beautiful. It is extremely difficult to like the person in the mirror some mornings. It is hard to not just throw my arms up in complete frustration and just scream - I QUIT! Today has been an easy day but every now and then it is really difficult to be positive, to grow, to be accepting of me. Self-love is difficult and self-hate is soooo easy.For today I am grateful that it's been an easy day, lets hope tomorrow is an easy day too.
Peace! (Said street style)
Life is hard. With all of your stuff it's hard enuff and then what everyone else expects of you.
ReplyDeleteWhen I look at my yard I use a new saying I picked up. Rome wasnt destroyed in a day.
Hope today is easy too.
LOL, I think I like your saying more :)
DeleteI had a boss that used to say to me "don't sweat the small stuff and it's all small stuff". I still utter those words to myself everyday. I may not believe them everyday, but I still utter them. I hope today was easy, tomorrow too, etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's been pretty easy and this weekend was definitely good :) Thanks
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