Cozy Grocers

Recently I came across an article that spoke about the coziest cities in the USA.  I was flabbergasted that they were also some of the most expensive cities to live in.  I don't know but to me cozy also means affordable.  What's the point of having a friendly grocer if I can't afford their groceries?  The article was from the HUFFPOST (click here for the article).  Mind you they are beautiful and have an aura of bygone times but I don't think many Americans could afford to live there.  For example in Santa Fe, NM a house that's about 1600 sq ft would be in the $200K range and it would not be in great condition if old and would be more than that number if it were new.  Raise your hand if you could afford to live in the DC area.  No?  Perhaps in Boston?  No?  I know!  San Francisco!

Yeah.  No.  Doubt if 90% of Americans could afford to live in any of those cities.  Mind you there are cities on the list that seem livable - cost wise.  There is also the fact that most jobs would provide a pay increase when living there but I would say that it's not a step up.  Considering that many college graduates can't find work or have to move back home at the moment, how cozy can these cities truly be?  Friendly postman?  Yeah would be nice, but I'll take my less expensive housing and groceries over a friendly grocer any day.

 See because you have to be this:

To get this:

 

Because if you are this:

 

Or this:

 

 

This is what you get:

 

I'm just kidding you can't live there!  At least not on your measly white/blue collar salary!  Oh that made me laugh!

 

I'm not hating on California, same is happening to cities in Texas.  Dallas, Houston, Austin, and San Antonio have all seen a spike in the cost of living even though they now offer more activities and "culture".  In Texas, culture can mean different things from the rest of the world but we like it.  However, Texas cannot boast of a higher income despite the increase in cost of living.  The same can be said of NM, they have an extremely high cost of living but they also have some of the lowest wages in the country.  When I say that the cost of living is high, I don't mean taking awesome jetsetting vacations or chilling by the pool with some Dom, no I mean paying your rent, buying groceries, paying utilities, transportation, buying clothing, and maybe squeezing in a fast food dinner or a movie.  Quite honestly for some families fast food is sometimes equivalent to having a nice dinner out.  So yes I would like to live some where cozy but if I have to sacrifice a necessity, I'll pass.  Do I dislike those who can afford to live somewhere cozy?  No.  I have what I have and I am grateful for what I have.  That said I don't appreciate being told I don't live somewhere cozy just because you prefer your grocer to know your name.

Work Ahead

I already wished everyone a new year, we've all gone through the "I hope this is your best year!" dance and now it's time to leave that behind and really work on the year.  Well wishing done.  Work to begin!

How to start 2014?  I think this needs a list, not numbered because that could mean that each goal would have more weight than others and I don't want to start the year by stressing on deadlines.

• Less me-shaming.  Some of you know what I'm talking about, others will not.  Also known as fat-shaming.  Kellog's Special K website has an awesome video illustrating what fat-shaming is and how it's done when we do it ourselves.  A little ironic, many blogs, websites, media outlets, called Special K out on that but it doesn't make it any less true.  Thus, no more calling myself fat, comparing myself to friends/strangers, reading magazines that glorify thin over healthy, no more shame over an unrealistic image of what a woman should look like because I do not fit that image, and am not likely to.  Less me-shaming.
• Giving the whole part-time vegetarian thing another go because lets face it eating pasta with veggies is not totally vegetarian.  I need to try actual vegetarian meals that don't have pasta in it, love pasta but there is a limit to the amount of carbs I should be eating.  This by no means entails me giving up cheese, might as well kill me if I had to give up cheese.  However, I will try more vegan recipes from the book I got 2 years ago, I tried 1 recipe when I received said book.  This year I will try 1 recipe per month - at least!  This is only part-time because I love meat, so yeah part-time only.
• This year I am actually paying for the gym membership at work.  It is the gym that is associated with the university and I'll have to wade through young 20-somethings who are there for reasons other than exercise but that's where the less me-shaming is needed.  Remember no more comparing myself to others because I am not 20-anything anymore, I am just me.  Just exercise and the aforementioned diet changes.
• Re-start the whole budgeting process again.  In 2012, I was extremely good about keeping a budget, watching where my money was going but last year that went down the drain.  I just stopped.  I always said to myself, "I'm busy!  Who has the time?!"  No more, back to basics!  Definitely going back to the budget, it was so helpful!
• More gardening, less TV.  More reading, less TV.  More family time, less TV.  More knitting/crochet, less TV.  The point is LESS TV.  I have been watching several series for a long time and they take up a lot of time.  I didn't realize how much TV I was watching until I did a survey that asked me how much TV I was watching every week, the tally was not pretty.  Less TV.
• Simplifying my life.  I sometimes feel a little overwhelmed by the things in my life and sometimes the activities in my life.  This year I want to simplify that and feel a little more relaxed.  First I need to purge my home of things that I don't need.  Like the skirts from years ago that don't fit but I keep because every year I"m going to lose the weight and fit back into them.  Hasn't happened yet and I don't know that I'll ever be that small again, so moving on.  Goodwill will be receiving a lot of things this year, especially because all of that clothing is still in pretty good shape.  When or even if I lose the weight, I think new clothing would be better than hoarding things I don't use or need.  Shoes not included.  Simplify.

These are the things I want to concentrate on in 2014, if I did 2 of the things listed above I think 2014 will be a great year.  

2013 Out!

Christmas has come and gone and it just didn't feel like Christmas this year.  Some years the merry is in it, other years life has the opposite effect.  It wasn't a bad Christmas, far from it but for some reason I just didn't settle into the spirit.  I think the past 2 months were so busy that I just didn't take the time to take everything in and appreciate what a wonderful year this has been.  Without further ado here's my Christmas spirit!

1. This year I was so lucky to meet some great people and see some wonderful people again.  A friend from South America was here for 4 months and we had a great time!  I made a new friend from my other home country - Mexico.  Life is a lot better when you have wonderful people around you :)
2. I got to go to Austin to see Juanes live in concert at Austin City Limits Live TV and it was awesome!  I love that show and I hope to go to the festival some time in the future.  
3. I was part of a happy event in a friends life.  Being a bridesmaid is always a lot of work, especially when you're the only one freaking out!  The bride was so blasé that I felt the need to stress for her!  No I kid, she was blasé but I tend to stress until after the event.  After the wedding I was so relaxed :)
4. I got to go to Santa Fe, a place I have always wanted to visit.
5. Work was extremely productive and I learned so much!  I have to say that work has ceased being a grindstone and I enjoy going in now.  I also haven't felt the itch to move on!  Usually a year in and I'm checking job sites.
6. I have learned how to make delicious and simply gingerbread cookies.
7. I had a wonderful birthday!
8. I presented an awesome poster at a mini-conference.

There were things that weren't great also but I have to say that overall nothing was horrible.  I still have to work on my weight issues, on eating a healthier diet, and incorporating exercise; things that I need to think and act upon.  I have goals that I want to attain in the near future.  I know there will be things that I will need to plan out carefully and others that will come quickly but all in good time.  A toast to the old year, thanks for being kind, and to the new year lets hope you are a good one too!

Feliz Christmas & Happy New Year!

A little late but I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas!  I am spending some time with family and playing with the nephew.  He has enjoyed the attention he's been receiving, he even went to a holiday party with me and was the beau of the party. 

 

As for the new year that is upon us I hope you have had a wonderful (or at least a decent) year!

Cold Piggies

What a month November was and this month is looking like it will be more of the same!  Last month it was a mixture of visiting family, lots of work, and helping a friend with her wedding.  I also hosted a bachelorette party.  Then I went home for Thanksgiving.  This past weekend I was part of a friends joyous event - a very beautiful and COLD wedding!

Weird pic huh?

The wedding was in Santa Fe, NM and it was cold!  I wore a short blue dress - also sleeveless - and sandals.  Suffice to say that I miraculously still have all of my piggies!  We even took photos in the snow.  Yeah.  It was cold.  I kid a lot about the weather, the short dress, and the bitterly cold weather but all in all it was a beautiful wedding and a very happy day for all involved.  Even if my piggies beg to differ.  No one has wanted to go to the market for a while now.

Life has been a little hectic since the last post but I think this weekend made up for the lack of personal life.  My friend and I were wondering what we're going to be doing with all this free time now that the wedding is done with.  I mean if I'm not making bridesmaids bouquets - what's the point!?  Oh yeah, I remember now, not making bouquets.  Now to ready my home for the holidays and some tamales!  I am so looking forward to Christmas!

I hope everyone out there in the blogosphere is doing well and has had a great last 2 months :)

Toxic

How many times have you sworn that you will eliminate toxic relationships from your life?  Every New Year's Eve I make that same goal and I always fail miserably.  You know at some point you realize that you have changed - dramatically - and nothing brings it quite home like a friend from the past or even your present.

About 9 years ago I had a horrible experience at the workplace, not my current position.  It took me 2 years to get out from that place but I managed it and I slowly (very slowly) rebuilt my self-worth, my work ethic, and my trust in male leadership.  Thankfully there were plenty of examples all around me of good leadership - both female and male.  That job made me feel like a failure and it took me a long time to find myself again.  During that time I also made friends and they were all different.  However, one friendship stood out because it seemed to feed on all of the negativity I was going through at the time.  That friendship, if I can call it that, has followed me for better and worse.  This person listened to all the bad mouthing I could do and joined in, I naively thought that this person was on my side - turns out they were on their own side.  We've all had those friends, people we meet whose complaints are mirror images of our own, especially during those really tough times.  A few years back I realized I no longer felt that way and that I had moved on but this person was still stuck there.  Now I feel shamed into agreeing with them at times but I just can't do that anymore.  The time I spent in that dark place was really bad, I don't want to go back to that and I most definitely don't want to let that anger and hurt back into my heart.  The only person who was ever miserable from those thoughts was me, no one else.  I have found that once you have these type of people in your life, it is difficult to extricate yourself from hate, hurt, blame, shame, and anger that is brought into your life, that you've allowed to be brought into your life.  It's not the other person's fault, it was my own because in my anger and pain I accepted more of the same from someone else.

How does this bring shame?  Well, they tend to want you to continue this same behaviour and remind you of how they were there for you during those times.  Some would say these are their bad times and you should be there for them but is it bad times or is this person hanging onto the bad times?  It's been 9 years since the bad times for me, pretty much the same amount of time for them, so has the bad continued or has it passed and they just haven't noticed?  When I can't agree anymore I feel ashamed because I feel like a bad friend but I don't think friends should cause feelings of shame.  Recently while reading an article by Brene Brown, it felt like a justification of what I have been feeling regarding this friendship.  Her name links to the article, it was liberating.  I don't need to stop being a friend, all I need to do is stop being negative and if that person follows so be it, but I think that if they don't they will probably leave me behind because I am no longer enabling their own feelings of anger, shame, hate, and pain.  All I have to do is not share in that, also say that I am no longer going to do that, not that I won't listen to legitimate worries and problems but I will no longer dwell on anger and pain when you can't change the past.  It's not that I don't have those type of thoughts about myself anymore but I'm learning to handle them and know that it doesn't last forever.

I am trying to let go, knowing that if those thoughts come, those same thoughts will also go the way they came.  I am trying to learn gratitude.  I am trying to let myself feel, be vulnerable, and to accept that bad things happen.  Bad times happen, still have to live through them, and at the end I still have to come out on the other side of those bad times.  Am I wrong?  Do I feel like I am abandoning them?   I am not wrong, I don't think so.  I am not abandoning them either, I'm just not willing to keep going back to the pain of the past or create more pain for myself or anyone else.